Month: December 2016

‘Tis the season.  I am not all gushy about Christmas.  I actually believe that it is the over-commercialization (though any commercialization should be considered “over-“) of an event that would more appropriately be celebrated in September/October, but it is a tradition, if celebrated, that should be well-celebrated.  My greatest memories of Christmas are not the gifts, but rather the time spent with family.

Perhaps the most lasting tradition I have is Chex Mix and puzzles.  As long as I can remember, the Armstrong’s have consumed mass quantities of Chex Mix and did puzzles over the Christmas break.

The puzzles started with places we had visited—the Grand Teton, Brice Canyon, etc.  Over the years, it has evolved into trying to find the most difficult puzzles.  I believe my dad still curses me for the red apple on a black background I gifted him many years ago.  As puzzles go, it was torturous.

Most any substantial puzzle can be punishing.  There is always “just one more piece before bed…” or “I’m just going to finish Teddy Roosevelt’s nostril…”.  This leads to yet another piece or George Washington’s forehead.  I love it!  Last year, Las Vegas was quite brutal.  Such fun!

Chex Mix is a must.  I remember huge tubs of the treat when I was a kids.  You eat a first-full and search for that “two bumps and a pointy”.  It has to be the real deal.  Homemade.

It has taken my wife a while to come around.  For years she has been bringing home the pre-made, packaged Chex Mix.  It is not the same.  I like the homemade kind.

I am realizing, this year, that making the Chex Mix is part of the tradition.  I don’t think the recipe has changed in 45+ years (though one may feel free to improvise).  This year, I have convinced Pam to let me make it.  A new holiday tradition is (re)born.  Homemade Chex Mix and the 2016 Puzzle.  Late nights and family fun.  Who could conceive a more fun holiday break?

I am excited to see what challenging puzzle awaits.

Whatever your family traditions, carpe momento!

“Winning isn’t getting ahead of others. It’s getting ahead of yourself.”—Roger Staubach

Perhaps one’s greatest opponent is one’s self.  There is no challenger more motivated to defeat us than ourselves.  Why is this so?  Why are we so willing to destroy our own dreams?

There is a voice inside us that keeps telling us “you can’t”, “you’re not good enough”, “you are not worthy”, etc.  We all have our own source for this voice.  It may be stronger at some times than others.  Why do we listen to this voice?

I teach in my Physiology of Exercise course that “movement begins and ends with the brain”.  All action begins and ends with the brain.  Therefore, all inaction begins and ends with the brain, as well.  Whatever we do or don’t do begins with the motivation to take action…or not.  One simple choice—to act or not act.

Motivation is nothing more than making a decision.  The slightest effort toward movement is enough to overcome the psychological inertia.  Then, it is just a matter of continuing. Momentum takes hold, and we keep moving toward success.  Now, it is up to the brain to keep us going forward.  Now, the brain must continually ask: “do I keep going or do I quit?”

There is a saying that “I don’t have to outrun the bear.  I just have to outrun the other guy.”  Roger Staubach was spot on when he said it is “getting ahead of yourself.”  Let the bear get the negative voices.  Outrun your negative self and never quit.

There is no greater victory than in defeating your adversarial self.  It is only against this opponent that it is sportsmanlike to kick ‘em when they’re down.  Conquer defeatism and don’t let him get up.  Don’t allow it a rematch.  Set your goals.  Determine that you will be successful and don’t quit until you are.

Surround yourself with allies who will support you.  Let no one who is negative be near you.  Gird yourself with confidence and a strong will.  Determine that you can, and you will.

Carpe momento!

“Man has no greater enemy than himself.”—Petrarch

The golden rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  We’ve all heard it before.  Most agree it makes sense.  It occurred to me, though, that maybe it could be tweaked.

I’d like to modify the golden rule just a bit.  I propose that we state it as such: “Do unto others as should be done unto you.”  Why you ask?  Because, we generally expect more that we deserve.  We want more than we earn.  We want more than is best for us.

Now, I am sure some are reading this and thinking, “Dude, you’re harsh.”  Maybe so, but hear me out.

I am not suggesting that we treat anyone less well than what is best for them.  What I suggest is that we treat others according to their needs as opposed to what we might think they need (according to our experience).

I see a tendency among well-intended people to want to do good for others, but, in the process, rob said others of what might most benefit them over the long term.  We tend, so to speak, to “give a man a fish” rather than “teach him to fish”.  Of course, we would all prefer to have our problems magically solved for us, but this doesn’t help the next time a problem arises.  It is better that we give a man a fish, if he is hungry, to get him through the immediate need, and teach him to fish so he can eat tomorrow.  Instead, though, we often just stop at the fish.

As parents, we can tend to focus on the fish.  We often want our children to be happy more than anything.  To this end, we often can’t avoid saying “no” when “no” might be best for the child in the long run.  I see the same in education, when we assume that some kids are “disadvantaged” and “need extra help” (not to say that we don’t help were we need to—let’s just not assume that we are helping by “helping”).  Sometimes, we need “tough love”.  Sometimes, we just need the space to work things out for ourselves.

Society likes to feel good about kissing boo-boos and putting Band-Aids® on wounds, but sometimes we are only treating the symptoms and not the cause.  The beauty of society or community is that we are all individually gifted and can contribute in our own unique way.  Society needs us to use our talents and to bring them to the table every day.

We are all unique.  We all have unique gifts.  As well, we all have unique needs.  As we interact with our neighbors, don’t consider what you might want in a given circumstance.  Rather, consider what it is the involved person needs.  Do to others as should be done.  Help them beyond their immediate need.  If we apply “be your best today; be better tomorrow” to ourselves, then we should apply “make today the best; make tomorrow better” to others.

Carpe momento!

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Being from the East Coast/Midwest, I must say, I get confused and frustrated every time it snows in Portland, Oregon and surrounding areas.  A relatively small amount of snow can have devastating effects—car accidents, closures of businesses and schools, traffic delays, and stranded people and cars.  This winter “storm” was no different.

This weekend, there were two things to which I was looking forward—my daughter’s second basketball game, and my son’s wrestling tournament (probably the only one of this scope he was going to be able to participate in this season).  These cancellations were precipitated by the school district because of road and parking lot conditions—three days after the last snowfall (?).  I have no doubt that the coaches wanted the events to go on.  I certainly wanted them to.  But, the school made their decision—and for what they perceived as a safety need.  I can’t quite grasp it, but….

So, here I am.  Saturday morning with nothing on the calendar.  Opportunity!!  I am learning to consider the opportunity that is presented in the circumstances at hand.  I have written before that we have three possible responses to circumstances.  We can look at them as 1) burdens, 2) challenges, or 3) opportunities.  I am a slow-learner—even when it comes to being “well-centered”—but, I am learning.  I am seeing the opportunity that is available to me this day.

Last night, instead of having the opportunity to help move wrestling mats and set up for the tournament (notice the syntax—“opportunity to” v. “having to”!)—I had the opportunity to have an extended “15-minute Check-in” with my wife and have a sit-down dinner with the family.  This morning I was able to sleep in (what I define as “sleeping in”—‘til 6 AM) and the rest of the family is still sleeping as I have gone through my morning routine of journaling, sip my second cup of coffee, and get ahead on my daily blog challenge.  Later, I will make Chex Mix with my daughter for a little holiday tradition (more to come on this).  We will probably watch a few holiday movies and just hang out as a family.  This is actually a much more relaxed day than what was cancelled.  I will have other days to watch my son wrestle, and the conflicting events meant that I would have missed my daughters game anyhow.

It is easy to get frustrated with disruptions that are out of our control.  With the slightest effort, however, we can shift the momentum in a positive direction.  Once that decision is made to consider the circumstance as an opportunity, the positive movement is easy and frustration is replaced with gratitude.  Remember: your attitude shapes your attitude.  Don’t be overwhelmed by burdens and challenges, let today be an opportunity to be (extra)ordinary.

Carpe momento!

So, you want to lose body fat?  What do you do?  Most might say, “Diet”.  True, diet will play a role, but, truth be told, dieting really is “DIE” with a “T”.  Everyone is miserable when they are dieting.  No one wants to have to deprive one’s self.  I know I don’t.  Personally, I like food.  We have a very healthy relationship.

So, if dieting will kill you (well, not really), what are the options?  Well, eating healthy and working out.

After a recent adventure in the BodPod, I took a long look at my body fat goals.  Running the numbers, I could a) reduce my caloric intake and hope I could maintain muscle mass while losing fat, or b) I could eat, maintain (or, hopefully lose a little) fat, and gain muscle.  I am lifting weights anyhow.  I could manage my calories—mainly my carbohydrate, protein, and fat (AKA, “macros”) balance—and drop fat percentage points by working on increasing the bigger number (i.e., muscle).  I just had to get a bit more focused on smart training.

Say, for example, you are 220 lb and 20% fat (176 lean pounds and 44 pounds of fat).  If you gain 10 lb of muscle (now 230 lb), you are now 19% fat.  A small improvement, but you got to eat in the process!  And with more muscle, your basal metabolism actually improves, so you are actually likely to have lost fat, too.  All without “dieting”!

Now with a more modest caloric restriction, you can lose a bit more fat.  Say, in the above example, you also lose 5 lb of fat.  That would result in a body weight of 225 lb and a body fat of 17.3%.  Alternatively, a 10 lb fat loss to complement a 10 lb muscle gain brings the body fat down to 15.5% (this is called “recomp”—for recomposition—though, scientifically, it is not a simple matter of gaining and losing simultaneously).  So, to do the same losing fat alone?  That would require a fat loss of 12 lb.  Now, that isn’t so much better than the previous example, but… it requires significantly more caloric restriction.  In addition, it is going to require prolonged caloric restriction to maintain this weight.

Using a basic calorie calculator, this would require approximately 2478 kcal to maintain 15.5% at 208 lb.  On the other hand, maintaining the same relative body fat at 220 lb requires 2548 kcal (70 kcal more day).  No a great deal, but it is more food. (And, this is just a rough calculation that doesn’t account for the effect of the lean muscle difference on metabolism.  You will likely be able to actually eat more.)

It isn’t an exact science, but it is clear that adding muscle is the better option—if you like to eat and lift weights.  But, if you want to give up food….

“Train hard and smart, eat well, and try to get a bit better every month. After a while you are a completely different person, but it takes time. It doesn’t happen overnight and there are no quick tricks.”—Dr. Mike Israetel

“Yesterday’s home runs don’t win today’s games.”—Babe Ruth

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.  This is a constant theme of this blog.

Kaizen—constant improvement.  What we did yesterday is history.  Tomorrow has not come.  It is about what we do today.  It is what we do in this moment that matters.

There are no do-overs—no Mulligans—in life.  We can, however, learn from past experience and make better decisions the next time the chance arises.

Like Marcus Aurelius said, “The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.”  And as the great Dan Gable has said, “Once you’ve wrestled, everything else in life is easy.”  So, as we wrestle with the greater challenges of life, we gain experience, and we learn (or we hope we do).

Past successes, however, do not guarantee future success.  Every day is a day to prove ourselves—to better ourselves.  Past successes and failures are lessons upon which to base our next decisions.  Carpe momento!

We cannot rest of past laurels.  We must make today a success—or learn from it’s failures.  Our momentum is always forward.  Remember: “Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward” (Victor Kiam).  We just have to keep progressing—keep learning.  Greatness is not a one-time achievement.  Greatness is a journey.  It is within the potential of everyone to be (extra)ordinary.  Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Portland, Oregon is in the midst of “Snowpocalypse 2016”.  Meaning: it snowed yesterday.  Snow wrecks havoc in Portland.  Worse than this, it brings out the worst in people—especially me.

I grew up in Pennsylvania.  Dealing with snow was a factor of life from November to March.  I actually like driving in snow—or at least until I moved west from Michigan.  There is a much different attitude about snow, here.  The challenge for me is to accept this.

There are lessons to learn when it snows:

1) Know your capabilities.  Whether it is snow or some other challenging circumstance.  Know what you can or cannot handle.  If you can’t handle something, don’t do it.  On the same note, don’t remain where you are.  Develop the capability.

I drove out with my daughter to a store just as yesterday’s “storm” began to hit.  I came upon a car stopped at the top of a hill in our neighborhood.  There was a car being pushed up the hill in the oncoming lane (apparently having difficulty negotiating the hill), so, I thought the person might be helping.  I waited.  The others went along their way.  The car remained.  I flashed my lights, and finally approached the car (in shorts, which, in hind-sight, must have caused the driver to think I was more than a bit “off”).  The poor woman was panicked with fear about the hill—which was not at all icy—and didn’t know what to do.  I suggested (my apologies for not coming across more sympathetic) that she shift into low gear and take it slow and returned to my car and proceeded down the hill.  I don’t know how she got out of her pickle, but she was gone when we returned.  Perhaps, I might have offered to drive her car down the hill or turn it around for her, but I had my 8-year-old in the car, and we were on a mission.  Personally, I hope she faced her fears and drove down the hill on her own.

2) Be patient with others.  I struggle with this in so many ways, but particularly when it snows.  I want everyone else off of the roads—and, perhaps, many should be, but that is not the point.  We may be more capable than others in some circumstances, and we need to understand that others might be struggling to manage.  In snow, like life, we need to give them space and not rush them.  We need to take it slow, but keep moving forward.

3) We need to consider the impact of our actions on others.  On one hand, I am careful to consider others on the snowy road—I give space, I drive carefully, I signal turns earlier than usual, I consider what drivers are doing several cars ahead, etc.  On the other hand, I quite easily lose my positive attitude when people don’t behave as I would like (back to #2).  Still, I think driving in the snow (and going about our daily lives) would be much easier for everyone, if we were all a bit more aware of our affect on others.

I was more than a little upset with neighbors who were sledding in the streets.  Now, for them, they were just letting the kids have some fun.  It doesn’t snow often in Portland, after all.  What they failed to realize was that they were effectively making the road undrivable.  As it was, it took me three passes to get up the hill in my little front wheel-drive car.  By morning, I am certain it was a sheet of ice.

Our actions have consequences, and we always need to think through them.  Now, I am not trying to be the preacher, here.  If anything, I am writing to myself more than anyone.  The point here is that just a brief extension of the space between impulse and action can make all the difference in the outcome.

4) Accept one another.  Of course, I wish everyone could drive as well as I do in the snow (please, note the hint of sarcasm here), but not everyone is as blessed to have learned to drive on the snow-covered hills of Pittsburgh (again, with the sarcastic wit).  Understand that we all come from different places and have different experience levels.  Be accepting of others, but don’t personally remain where you are.  Being tolerant of others does not mean that we should demand that others accept where we are without trying to better ourselves.  Help one another along the path.  Society functions so much better when there is a sense of community.

Yeah, I have a long way to go in the above lessons.  But, the first step in changing behavior is admitting that you need to change.

Tips for driving in snow:

1) take your time;

2) shift into low gear on steep hills;

3) use your breaks judiciously;

4) keep moving up hill;

5) give yourself space to react;

6) expect the conditions to be worse than they are;

7) if you begin to slide, let off the breaks or gas and let the car regain traction—relax and don’t try to control the car;

8) know how your car responds (in a safe area, accelerate and brake hard to get a “feel” for how the car responds—learn to react without thinking); and

9) RELAX!  (If you can’t relax driving, relax at home with a hot cup of cocoa.)

Be safe, and when it comes to winter driving, as in life,…

be your best today; be better tomorrow!

“The less you have of something critical, the more important it becomes and the more wisely you use it.  This is true with everything – love, food, money, and even (or especially) toilet paper.”—Mike Michalowicz

A few different postings on LinkedIn this morning reminded me of a book I read prior to opening a performance sports training facility several years ago.  The book had an intriguing title: The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur (by Mike Michalowicz).  It is a book that I highly recommend to anyone who is looking to start their own business.  It is a bit crass, but informative.  Like many small businesses, mine was short-lived, but had I not followed some of the principles detailed in the book, I would have lost a lot more than I did in my endeavor.  In a nutshell, The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur is, like its subtitle states, “the tell-it-like-it-is guide to cleaning up in business, even if you are at the end of your roll.”  I’ll just let your mind figure that out.

It occurred to me this morning that the book and the concept of the “toilet paper entrepreneur” has implications beyond the world of business.  Indeed, it has implications for the way in which we live our lives—for “well-centered” living.  As in the above quote, life necessitates that we use such critical things as love, food, money—and toilet paper—resourcefully.  Too often, in our desire to get ahead or to impress, we adopt the mentality of “go big or go home”.  We lack the patience to delay gratification in life.

I see this as a university educator.  Students borrow great sums of money to “buy” an education and expect that the diploma is going to come with a high-paying job upon graduation.

I see it in relationships.  We are looking for “that one person” to make us whole and fail to value the journey in finding this person.  As young people, we don’t date to find ourselves and grow as a person.  We don’t date to better understand people.  We date solely to find that “one and only”—or for lesser reasons.  Likewise, in friendships, we gravitate to those most like us rather than investing in developing a range of relationships that will affect us for the long-term.

I see it in how we spend our resources—time, money, etc.  In “well-centered” living, we consider the importance of these resources as they relate to our Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social dimensions.  Too often, we invest thoughlessly in these and end up at some time in life looking at an empty roll.

My take home from The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur was that I must put my greatest resources toward what will have the greatest return.  In well-centered living, we put our greatest effort toward the things that have the greatest significance.  For me, these are evident in my core values: faith, family, friends, growth, health, and impacting others.  Significance is related to the quality of importance and lasting value.  The return on our investment extends far beyond personal gain and, thus, has a compounding effect.

Mike Michalowicz identifies eight attributes of the Toilet Paper Entrepreneur.  The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur (TPE):

1) cultivates a powerful foundation of beliefs;

2) has passion;

3) slants toward premature action;

4) is extremely great at extremely little;

5) uses ingenuity over money;

6) dominates a niche;

7) marries long-term focus with short-term action; and

8) is NOT normal.

Let’s look at these from the perspective of “well-centered” living.  I find they apply quite well.

The well-centered individual cultivates a powerful foundation of beliefs.  Like the TPE, well-centered people know that “success is nearly 100% determined by his or her beliefs, not education, means, or circumstance.”  Well-centered people trust in Purpose and act accordingly.

The well-centered individual has passion.  Well-centered people are positive and take charge of the day.  Carpe momento is their mantra.  They are on a mission in life.

The well-centered individual slants toward premature action.  Like the TPE, well-centered people prefer to take action rather than wait for things to happen.  Failure is inevitable, at times, but the end result of aiming high and taking action is forward movement and high-achievement.  Those who act may fall short, but falling short of lofty goals nearly always exceeds success in “realistic” goals.

The well-centered individual is extremely great at extremely little.  The well-centered individual knows his strengths and exploits them.  Time is not wasted in pursuing that which one lacks the capability to do.  The emphasis is on be your best today; be better tomorrow.

The well-centered individual uses ingenuity over money.  Here, I would consider “money” to be any resource of value—love, emotions, time, mental energy, physical effort, etc.  “Opportunity cost” applies.  Such resources are limited and, thus, are not to be spent frivolously.  They are invested wisely and with compounding effect.

The well-centered individual dominates a niche.  The well-centered person explores his or her giftedness and develops these talents.

The well-centered individual marries long-term focus with short-term action.  Well-centered people are goal-oriented.  They know where they want to go and have an action plan to get them there.

The well-centered individual is NOT normal.  Well-centered people are not content with being on the successful side of mediocre.  They challenge themselves to grow and achieve goals that are, per Coyte Cooper, “not reasonable by normal expectations”.  Status quo is not acceptable.

So, as you ponder life staring a fresh roll in the holder, consider how you are going to use it.  Will you squander life and find yourself empty midway through, or will you use life wisely and make the most with what you are given?

Carpe moment!

“If you aren’t in to win, what are you doing here?”—Linus Torvalds

Competition is bad, right?  Nonsense.  Competition pushes everyone to get better.  If we are not setting out everyday to be our best—to come out on top—what are we doing?

Personally, I want to see everyone do well.  As an educator, I want to push my students to excel.  As a parent, I want to see my children do exceedingly well in sports and school.  Everyone wins with competition.  The alternative is mediocrity for all.

I know my opinion is not shared by some—particularly colleagues in certain areas of academia—but, nonetheless, I want to see my kids compete.  I want them to win and lose. (Preferably, they lose early on and develop the skills and drive to be winners later on—in life, as well as sports.)

Certainly, an unbalanced sense of competition—e.g., “win-at-all-cost”—is unhealthy, but there is nothing unhealthy about striving to be one’s best.  Society needs each generation of young people to drive the future.  Society needs forward thinkers and people who want to outdo their predecessors.

I recently finished reading Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman.  (Recommended!!)  Honestly, there were no surprises, per se, but it is enlightening to really get into the science of winning and losing.  We just aren’t wired to passively go through life.  This book was a fascinating read.  It left me all the more convinced of my obligation as a parent to instill a sense of competition in my children, as well as my students.

Now, one cannot expect to be the best at everything.  Perhaps, some may not be the best at anything—but I doubt this.  After all, one is unique and, therefore, already the best at being one’s self.  No one can compete with being you.  But, today’s self has an obligation to be better than yesterday’s self and expect to be outdone by tomorrow’s self.  Anything less is to misuse one’s talents.

Push the limits.  Extend your comfort zone.  Be your best today; be better tomorrow!

Be (extra)ordinary.

Push your peers to be better.

Accept nothing less than your best and the best in those around you.

Competition is not about making losers out of our opposition.  Competition is about making learners of us all.  After all, what is not gained by everyone being his or her best?  The world is always a better place with competition—honest competition.

“Every youth owes it to himself and to the world to make the most possible out of the stuff that is in him.”—Orison Swett Marden

 

“You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”—Woodrow Wilson

I have long been drawn by Proverbs 29:18 (“Where this is no vision, the people perish”, KJV).  Now, theologically, this is often misapplied, but, personally, I find the Proverbs often have a different meaning as my needs require.  So, let’s just let it mean personal vision for today.

Without a personal vision, it is easy to wander through through life aimlessly.  It is like setting off on a journey with no map or compass (or GPS, in the new millennium).  Moreover, it is like not even having a planned destination.  In such circumstances, one is not likely to get anywhere—or at least have no sense that they have arrived where they are going.

In life, we need a sense of Purpose.  (I use a capitalized “Purpose” to differentiate from the lesser “purposes” that are not necessarily our Spiritual place in the Universe.)  Purpose gives us the deeper meaning to our lives and the greater sense of fulfillment.  Unfortunately, it may take a lifetime to actually find our “Purpose”.

Vision is our GPS.  It is our sense of compelling direction that can be perceived only by taking pause on a regular basis and considering our path.

Vision requires a level of Spiritual “well-centeredness”—or at least the pursuit thereof.  It requires, first, that we recognize that the Universe is bigger than self.  It requires that we see that we are connected at some level beyond time and chance.  It requires that we are astutely aware that we impact others and are, in turn, impacted by others.

Vision requires a desire to have an impact on others—to make an impression on the world.  It requires a desire to have some sort of “legacy.”

Where there is no vision, one perishes into insignificance.  No one is meant to be insignificant.  We are meant to have an (extra)ordinary affect of the lives we touch.

It is true that most of us will never be world renowned.  Nevertheless, we touch lives.  Probably much more than we will ever know.

So, what is our vision of our Purpose.  Do we see the path of influence we have left in our wake?  More importantly, do we see the influence we can have going into the future? 

Seize the opportunity to make a difference.  Carpe momento!

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”—Carl Jung