Exercising on the Stoic Treadmill.

A while back, I posted “Exercising on the Hedonic Treadmill” (October 3, 2018). I wrote that the hedonic treadmill “is essentially our happiness setpoint.  It is the theory that our happiness is relatively stable—that life changes (positive or negative) have only short-term effects on one’s happiness.  In short, our pursuit of happiness is like walking or running on a treadmill.”

In preparation for an upcoming The Aging Well Podcast episode, I asked ChatGPT about happiness and learned that happiness can be categorized into two types: hedonic happiness and eudaimonic happiness. Hedonic Happiness is associated with the pursuit of pleasure, enjoyment, and the absence of pain or discomfort. It focuses on maximizing positive emotions and minimizing negative emotions and can involve seeking immediate gratification and engaging in activities that bring pleasure and satisfaction. Eudaimonic happiness is derived from a sense of purpose, meaning, and self-realization. It involves living in alignment with one’s values, pursuing personal growth, and engaging in activities that provide a sense of fulfillment and contribute to the greater good. It goes beyond immediate pleasure and seeks a deeper sense of well-being and flourishing.

I later had a conversation with my wife and son about the philosophy of Stoicism. I then took a dive into the depths of philosophy (the shallow depths) to demonstrate to my wife that she is not truly Stoic because her ancestry is English, and she doesn’t show emotion. Indeed, Stoicism is often oversimplified as the suppression or denial of emotions. Rather, Stoicism emphasizes the mastery of one’s emotions—not emotional detachment or suppression of all emotions. The goal of Stoicism is to develop emotional resilience and inner tranquility through the practice of rationality and virtue. While Stoics recognize that emotions are natural, they believe that our judgements and interpretations of life-events, as opposed to the events themselves, are what impact our well-being. The more I look at Stoicism the more I see elements of “well-centered fitness” (i.e., the pursuit of balance in the Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social dimensions of wellness).

Regarding happiness, Stoicism is not a perfect fit with hedonic or eudaimonic happiness. Unlike hedonic happiness, Stoicism places less emphasis on the seeking of external pleasures. Rather, it emphasizes the cultivation of inner virtues and emotional resilience. Happiness is found in acceptance of the natural ebb and flow of life and is not dependent on external circumstances. While Stoicism shares an emphasis on personal growth and moral virtue with eudaimonic happiness, it has a greater emphasis on the acceptance of fate and the impermanence of external circumstances. According the ChatGPT, “it suggests that true happiness can be achieved by aligning one’s actions and thoughts with reason and virtue, rather than seeking external validation or striving for external achievements.”

I maintain that happiness is subjective and that the threshold of happiness is an asymptote. I believe my wife is favors Stoicism (albeit not for the reasons she thinks) as do I. As such, I feel I favor a eudaimonic happiness over a hedonic happiness. Moreover, I favor a Stoic approach to happiness.

A Stoic is less detached from emotion and more in control of their emotions. The Stoic is pursuing Purpose and “well-centered fitness.” Stoics have a growth mindset. As such, exercising on the Stoic treadmill differs from exercise on the hedonic treadmill in that is addresses the “principle of progressive overload” in pursuit of the asymptote of happiness. It seeks the challenge of living beyond one’s hedonic setpoint. It highlights the importance of cultivating grattitude (i.e., an attitude of gratitude), the practice of mindfulness, nurturing other-centered relationships, and the engagement of meaningful activities the contribute to long-term satisfaction and Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social well-being.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

The Fruit of Father’s Day.

There is no greater responsibility than being a father. I celebrate today with grattitude and the somber hope that I will do better today than I did yesterday.

I see more of my father in me every day and am seeing more of myself in my children. Thank you, Dad, for your influence in my life.

For my son (a recent high school graduate) and my (all too independent) daughter, I pray I you heed my advice when it is good and ignore it when it is ill-suited to your path. I pray you have the wisdom to differentiate. This is your path. Though I have hopes and dreams for you, I trust that all things work together for good and that the experiences and relationships you are making are for God’s Purposes. My role is to guide you through the successes and failures (as my father did/does for me) and to cultivate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (despite often lacking these myself).

The role of a father is not to be perfect but to lead their children toward perfection and to accept imperfection in his children. Fatherhood is an opportunity and a blessing.

As I celebrate my father today, I also reluctantly permit my children to celebrate me (knowing that I don’t warrant celebration; rather, I have cause to be grateful). I honor and admonish all fathers today. Grace, peace, and happy Father’s Day.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

Beginning New Habits.

“The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread, but every time we repeat the act we strengthen the strand, add to it another filament, until it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably, thought and act.”—Orison Swett Marden

Our thoughts and actions are invariably linked to the habits we create. The more we repeat our thoughts and actions the stronger they become. Unfortunately, some habits are not useful for our Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social well-being—our well-centered fitness. Such habits need to be unwound a thread at a time all the while strengthening the strands of our well-being.

Habits do not develop by happenstance. The begin and strengthen by choice of thought and action. They are a product of personal responsibility.

Begin today (and every day) with intention. Evaluate your circumstances and choose the thoughts and actions that will remove strands from the filaments of negativity and add strands to the filaments that binds us Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, and Socially in positive and productive thought and action.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!

Milestones.

Most high school senior across the country have already graduated. The rest will likely be graduating this week. My son’s graduation is this week. While it is common to look back and reflect on the memories, it is more exciting to look forward to what will be.

The decision made over the last 18 years have led to where his is (we are) right now. Decisions continue to be made that will lead to where he (we) will be in the near and far future. It should not be a sad or scary time. Seasons end and new ones begin. This is such an exciting time.

To those who are graduating, congratulations and best wishes. You have a bright future ahead. Go forward with confidence and passion. Dare to live outside of your comfort zone. Make the decisions that will cause you to fail—to fail forward. Challenge yourself and your expectation. Pursue your Purpose.

Parents: let go. Let them make decisions that you don’t agree with. It is their path leading forward. Be there to support and encourage—and to keep the fire of passion stoked. Celebrate the wins and the losses. Today, the role of “parent” changes. Your graduate still needs you but in different ways. This is as much a milestone for you as it is for your child.

I am proud of the path my son is on. I am equally honored, as an educator, to be watching my students take flight. Graduations are the epitome of “carpe momento.” There is no better occasion to say….

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!!