Month: May 2023

We use labels and categorize people, often in the name of “diversity.” Invariably, however, the labels never really define us. We are (and should) be more unique than we are categorical.

I am not a fan of labels. As a researcher, I know we sometimes need to create defines groups to make comparisons, but research is designed to make the best (generalizable) decisions about the group’s behaviors and responses. The conclusions must account for the inherent differences among the individuals.  When we label others, we ignore the individual and express our bias. When we label ourselves, we become tribal and favor the “us v. them” mentality. We separate, rather than unite, ourselves.

Spiritual wellness dismisses labels and embraces the unique contributions the individual makes to the whole. Who you are and your Purpose are not defined by the labels put on you by others. Who you are and your Purpose is determined by you and your Creator. Be free to be yourself.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!!

“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth; it’s a shield.”—Brene Brown

Perfectionism is not growth. One cannot be perfect and be growing. The two are incongruent.

Growth requires failure. It requires effort beyond one’s current capacity—doing more than that to which we are accustomed. It is growing the glass and longing to fill the ever-present empty (opportunity for self-improvement).

Perfectionism is simply polishing the already full glass. Perfectionism denies the opportunity to fail toward “healthy achievement and growth.”

Choose growth over perfection.

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!!

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”—Theodore Hesburgh

I have a mantra—simply the title words from Gale Sayer’s autobiography, I Am Third. It comes from a quote Sayer’s learned from his college track coach: “My God is first, my family is second, and I am third.” It is often easier said than done. It is the most important lesson I have learned (and struggle to continue to learn) as a husband and father.

In a world where far too many children are raised without fathers and absent fathers (and fathers who are in the home but nevertheless absent), it is important to honor the mothers who raise the young. It is important to love and prayer for our mothers and to thank them.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

Be your best today; be better tomorrow!!

Carpe momento!!

I had a conversation with my Aging Well Podcast cohost (stay tuned for Episode 84, which airs May 21, 2023) about the cup half-full v. half-empty argument. He added the role of positive v. negative mindset (i.e., the cup is always full because it also contains air). Optimism and positivity are important, but I added that we also need to have a ‘growth mindset.’

If we truly want a fulfilling and well-centered life, we need to be growing—the cup needs to be getting bigger. It is emptiness (air) in the cup that provides the impetus to grow—to “be our best today; be better tomorrow.” A cup that is growing (i.e., a growth mindset) will always have some air in it (the cup that runs over is not growing). One with a growth mindset is never satisfied with having a consistent volume of water (the fulfilling and gratifying things in life) in the cup. Instead, they seek more—Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, and Socially. They seek more not out of greed but of Purpose.

For some, there is undoubtedly a drain in the cup that is beyond their control (and for some within their control). For these, the priority is to plug the hole (e.g., treat a medical condition, get out of a toxic relationship, get sober, stop doing stupid sh**, etc.). Once the hole is plugged, the cup may again begin to fill. The cup can grow.

Life is about growing the cup and filling it Spiritually, Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, and Socially. To grow the cup is to….

Be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Carpe momento!