Month: December 2016

“We should never shy away from the challenges that face us out of fear of failure or an unwillingness to battle the odds. We should confront our problems head on and make no excuses.”—Kyle Maynard

I am not a fan of wasting talent.  I am not a fan of not giving 100% one-hundred percent of the time.  I tell my children to fail.  Failure is not, after all, a bad thing.  Indeed, failure is an indication that one is pushing him/herself beyond the comfort zone.  It is a necessity in the philosophy of be your best today; be better tomorrow.

Strive to fail.  Take the risks that will make you better!   I believe that one can only fail if one is giving one’s all.  Anything less is quitting.

In sports and in life, the only options are not winning and losing.  The real options are success, learning (i.e., failure), and quitting.  There is a saying in wrestling: there are only winners and learners.  This should be our attitude in everything.

There is no dishonor in failing.  The only embarrassment is in not trying—or giving up.

I was quite moved by Kyle Maynard’s book, No Excuses.  If you are not familiar with the story, Kyle is a wrestler…with congenital amputation of the arms and legs.  Kyle lacks hands, forearms, and lower legs.  He has only partial feet.  And, he placed in the Georgia State Championships!  More impressive than his success is his failures.  As one would expect, Kyle lost the majority of his matches in his first years—35 straight matches his first two seasons, I believe.  Not necessarily surprising, but what most inspired me was that he was never pinned in those 35 matches!  Never pinned!!  Few fully-able wrestlers can say this.  Kyle Maynard knows that quitting is the only defeat.

I am struggling with imparting this lesson upon my 11-year-old wrestler.  He loves wrestling, but has not embraced the work ethic that is required for success.  He has his shining moments, but he still does not grasp the concept fully.  Last night was such a night.  He is physically gifted.  But giftedness does not supplant desire and effort.  I would rather see my son lose a match scrapping until the final whistle than see him give up or have a half-hearted win over a lesser opponent.  I would rather see him choose to face the tougher practice partner and struggle than have him have perfect technique on a “fish”. 

I emphasize having a growth mindset.  This is the idea behind be your best today; be better tomorrow.  I was pleased to see this supported in an article shared by a sport psychologist friend: “Want to Raise Successful Kids? Science Says Praise Them Like This. (Most Parents Do the Opposite)”

[http://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/want-to-raise-successful-kids-science-says-praise-them-like-this-most-parents-do.html].  We need to challenge the notion that we should be praised for our gifts and reward effort—whether that effort results in success or failure. Bill Murphy, Jr., the author of the aforementioned article suggests: “instead of asking your kids at dinner how school was today, go around the table and ask everyone to share a story of how they struggled with something. (You have to share, too!)”  Embrace the process of growth.  Encourage our children, athletes, students, employees, etc. to strive to fail.  Anything less is quitting.

Carpe momento!

“The 1st period is won by the best technician. The 2nd period is won by the kid in the best shape. The 3rd period is won by the kid with the biggest heart.”—Dan Gable

“It never gets easier.  You just get better.”—Author Unknown

Funny how inspiration comes at you from so many ways.  When it does, you gotta take notice.  Today was one of those days.

Journaling this morning, I was recounting a couple of struggles I am having, and the thought: “Nobody said it would be easy” came to mind.  A short while later, I saw the above quote on Wrestling Mindset’s Facebook page.  Subsequently, Wrestleology shared the admonition to “Leave it all on the mat.”  (See my post, “Leave everything you have in this room” from November 15^th.)  These sum up the day pretty well—not just today, but everyday.  Nobody said it would be easy.  If they did, you might want to question their grasp on reality.  And if life is easy, question whether you are really challenging yourself and living life to the fullest.

Don’t get me wrong.  There are certainly days when I wish it were easier, but, in the end, I prefer the challenge.

A central theme to this blog is “be your best today; be better tomorrow.”  There is simply no way to be better tomorrow, if you aren’t your best today.  You can’t be your best if you don’t give today your all.  If you are giving all you got, it won’t be easy.  As Benjamin Franklin wrote: “there will be time enough to sleep in the grave.”  Lean into the day and push!

If you can’t tell from reading my blog posts, I write to myself, more often than not.  I just hope that others need the same encouragement.  This is one such post.

Some mornings you have to muster a little extra energy to overcome the inertia and start moving forward.  Such days are no fun, but if you are motivated to succeed, you do it. And, you know what?  It gets easier.  But, because you are striving to be well-centered and accomplished, you raise the bar.  You elevate the challenge.  You raise your expectations, and it seems hard again.  (And, yes, sometimes, you do stumble back down the hill from time to time.)  Over time, though, you turn back and see how far you have come.

Years ago, I pledged a fraternity at WVU.  Our “hell week” culminated in a blindfolded climb (more like frantic crawl) up an icy hill at Cooper’s Rock.  We had to make it to the top to become an active member of the fraternity.  I remember clawing my way up the ice, struggling to make it to the top.  At the top, we were permitted to take off the blindfold and see the rising sun.  It was a great sensation of satisfaction and inspiration.  I think of this often when I am clawing my way through life.  I always know that there will be a “sunrise” at the end of the climb.

Embrace the struggle.  As an exercise physiologist, I know that it is the “overload”—the pushing a body system to a level greater than that to which it is accustomed—that promotes adaptation and growth.  Life is no different.  As General George Patton said: “Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory.”  Go forward.  Carpe momento!

“Excellence is never easy to attain. It is often accompanied by major sacrifices and an extremely high level of uncertainty. It is achieved only through a constant mental and physical battle to arrive at your best, and then replicate that performance over time…over and over, and over. Consistency is what really separates good athletes from great ones, and greats from legends. Discipline in preparation is where it begins and execution is where it is celebrated.”—Jordan Burroughs