Several years ago, my business was struggle. I was frustrated and my emotional tank was nearly empty. My interactions with others were increasingly reflecting my emotional strain. I frequently vented in conversation and on social media. I was fueling my own negativity and was doing little to encourage others. In an epiphany, I realized how destructive this was and determined to change my approach. Surely, I was not the only one in my life struggling to find encouragement. It was at this moment that realized that my attitude was shaping my attitude. I realized that I could ask others to join me in my pool of self-pity and worry, or I could turn my emotions around to be of greater value to others. If I needed encouragement, I determined to encourage others. I soon started hearing back from friends how encouraged they were by my words. I, in turn, started to believe my own words and was, myself, encouraged.
In three ways, I shaped my own attitude by presenting the attitude that I desired:
1) I sought out quotes relating to my desired attitude and shared these on Facebook and Twitter. On days that I was seemingly most positive, I was likely the most discouraged. Using the words of others, I was able to lift up others and myself in the process.
2) I noted a comment that a friend made that she was praying for “some very special people.” I worked on my habit of praying for others. I routinely walked through my list of Facebook friends, acknowledging each person, and saying a little prayer for him or her. I would think about their needs and whatever stuff I knew to be going on in their lives. This distanced me from my own worries and helped me to realize that my problems are small by comparison. Then, in posting on social media that I am “praying for some very special people”, I sent a message to my friends that someone cares. In turn, I was aware that more than a few friends were praying for and thinking about me.
3) Taking a cue from The Celestine Prophecy, I would acknowledge when someone suddenly came to mind. I would shoot him or her an e-mail or message them to remind them that I was thinking about them. Such a thought out of the blue can go a long way in encouraging someone who might be struggling in some unknown way.
Reaching out to others in these ways really helped to shape my own attitude and to lift me up. There is something about reaching out selflessly to others that provides for our own selfish needs.
At the time I recognized the need to shape my own attitude, I was waking early in the mornings in what I described as a wrestling match between fear and faith. Faith always won, and I was strengthened by these times. In recognizing that I was not alone in fighting battles, I remembered that I was a team player and that my team needed to be cheered on to victory, as well. In turn, I realized that I was not alone, either.
Shaping my attitude is a daily challenge. Like physical exercise and spiritual devotions, the act of choosing my attitude is a daily process. It requires specific action. Throughout the day, we act in the attitude that shapes our attitude going forward. Carpe momento.