A friend posted the questions: “What is your dream vacation? Have you been yet?” The question gave me pause. I suppose a dream vacation might be to visit Scotland—what I consider to be the land of my ancestry. As I considered the question, it immediately occurred to me that I don’t like vacations—or at least planning vacations (I leave this to my wife). Now, I like to travel. That is, I like purposeful travel—e.g., visiting family, conferences, etc. I struggle with wanting to take a break from doing.
As I pondered my reluctance to vacation, I considered why this is. I don’t always enjoy where I am working. So, it is not that I don’t want to break from my work. I don’t always like where I am living. So, it isn’t that I don’t want to go somewhere else. I think, in part, I just like doing.
To me, ‘vacation’ is a distraction from the here and now. Thus, I struggle to plan vacations, because they remind me that I want to be somewhere other than where I am. On some level, it is that struggle between “I have to” and “I get to”.
There are positives to both sides of my relationship with vacation. (No need to dwell on negatives.) On one hand, I love doing what I am doing and want to be productive—and, hopefully, I am. One should enjoy what they do. I have the same struggle with considering retirement. After all, why would I want to stop doing the things that I am doing, if they are doing good and I enjoy them? On the other hand, not focusing ahead to a distant vacation keeps me centered on the here-and-now. Carpe momento, right?
I prefer spontaneity. Let’s hop in the car and drive. (I once planned a trip from Long Island to Maryland to visit my oldest sister. This was before most anyone had cell phones, and I had neither firmed up my plans nor received directions to my sister’s. So, I made a decision that, if I couldn’t contact my sister by the Pennsylvania Turnpike, I would head west and to West Virginia to surprise my middle sister. Thus, I made a surprise 13-hour drive to Hurricane, WV. I don’t think my sister has ever recovered from the shock.) This is the way I like to roll. I also like to just go to the movie theater and see a movie—I don’t need to see what is playing or what the show times are.
Our significant others should complement us. Mine certainly does. My wife, Pam, is the planner. I would probably go nowhere different were it not for her. I tease here about her spreadsheets. Going to the movies? Me: What time? Her: “Such and such gets four stars. This other movie gets four and a half. This movie is 98 minutes….” (Get the gist?) We recently went on a 15-day vacation to the east coast—seven states (we drove through NJ) and the District of Columbia. Thank God, my wife is a planner. (True, we had conflict here and there, but….) It was a great time. I might also add that I did no work for the 15 days! I even scheduled my blogs 18 days in advance—because I couldn’t leave that undone, could I?
So, what am I saying here? (Besides I might need therapy?) I think there is a few thoughts:
- Work when you work and play when you play.
- Don’t stress over the future and don’t stress over the present.
- Stretch yourself. If you are not a planner, plan something. If you are not spontaneous, do something spontaneous.
- Love what you do for a living, but don’t live what you do for a living.
- Have gratitude for those who complement you (and take time to compliment them).
Carpe momento, but don’t miss the bigger picture.
Image: Gilnockie Tower, an Clan Armstrong castle