May is Brain Tumor Awareness Month. I have watched friends suffer through this with their children. Before the month ends, I feel it important to reflect on these. My friends lost precious children, but the cancer lives on. More children suffer, and the tumor never dies with the child—it remains in the family forever.
I asked for some inspiration for this blog, as ideas are sometimes hard to come by. Joey’s dad suggested that I “Scroll over Joey’s pictures here (on Facebook) or his foundation page. I think there’s a few things to inspire you there. Him, his strength and will to survive, the hundreds of people who did so much for him and the people who help and support the foundation fundraisers.” My response was “I don’t have to scroll the pictures. I can close my eyes and see the pictures and be inspired.” The same goes for Christopher. There is nothing that I could have to endure in life that could be harder than what these boys experienced and what these families continue to endure.
I told Joey’s father that my words could never do them justice. As I watch these families continue to suffer a loss that never heals, I don’t think there are any words that can help. We remind the families that they are in our thoughts and prayers, but I trust that these can feel like shallow platitudes. I am grateful for those who can be alongside my friends when they are struggling when I can’t (which has often been the case). I am grateful when my friends hold on to the belief that my prayers can be meaningful. I can say or write nothing that can change the circumstances for these families. All I (we) can do is be there alongside them—physically, if possible.
I don’t have to scroll the pictures of Joey and Christopher. I can conjure them with a simple thought. I can see their infectious smiles and contagious courage. They are the very real reminders to me to carpe momento. They inspire gratitude for every precious moment I have with my own children.
In the background of these pictures, however, there is always a sense of the weight cancer on the family. The burden that comes with hearing “Your child is going to die” is something none of us can fully comprehend, perhaps even when we hear it with our own ears. It is something that no parent should ever have to hear. It reminds me to hug my children like it might be the last time.
Joey, Christopher, and my friends show me that despite the suffering in the world, life is to be lived to the fullest. Not a moment of life is to be wasted. Celebrate every moment. Carpe momento!
If you are so inclined, give a gift to help prevent such loss for future families. I have seen too many families face the battle with cancer in their precious children, so my heart tends there. If you have nowhere to give, consider giving in memory of Joey and Christopher:
http://www.christopher-court.org/