I like to say that in the sport of wrestling there are three levels of competition: team v. team, wrestler v. wrestler, and wrestler v. self. The wrestler v. self competition is largely the struggle to make weight, but also includes the inner struggle to remain motivated and not be discouraged by losses.
My son’s 8th grade wrestling season is coming to a close. Looking at wins and losses, it has not been a successful season for him. Looking at the bigger picture, though, I believe it to be his most successful season to date. It is certainly a season that makes me proud.
He didn’t play football this year. Instead, he enrolled in the “preseason” for his club team. A month or so in, he began to struggle with motivation. He wouldn’t speak up, but I could tell he was struggling. After failing to “push” him to be motivated, I decided to allow him space to “let his soul speak” (something I am working on doing with myself and others). I offered him the opportunity to take a break from club. He wanted to, and he also asked to start lifting weights. He ended up skipping the club’s tournament and wrestling only in an early season takedown tournament. (He did not have anyone in his weight class and age group, so he pumped up to high school—which turned out to be a big mistake.) He opted to just wrestle middle school meets this year. The club is a great club with the best coaches in the state, but he was feeling too much pressure to compete. I knew that any more pushing would lose him from the sport.
Middle school season was a string of defeats. He lost every match until his final three. In my opinion, he could have won a few of these, but, for the first time in his years of wrestling, he never pouted or cried. He accepted defeat and looked at each as an opportunity to learn. He was smiling. It warmed my heart to see him enjoying himself—even in defeat.
In his final meet of the season, he had to wrestle up. The boys in his round-robin group were all 20 pounds or so heavier. He won them all—three straight pins. He wrestled better than I have ever seen him wrestle. He was calculated, aggressive, and smart. He had begun this season to take chances on the mat—sometimes resulting in defeat—but this day his head was screwed on tight in all the right places. He wrestled like a wrestler. Most importantly, he had fun! He seems to have recaptured the passion.
This season, he might have gone 3-12, but he went 15-0 against himself. That is a successful season!
We are often our own worst opponent. However, if we just give ourselves the space, we can easily defeat self.
In life, as in wrestling, there are no losers. There are only winners and learners.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow!
Carpe momento!