“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!” (Revelation 3:15, NIV)
The greater my self-esteem, the more pathetic I see myself. I think that is the way it is supposed to be.
We live in a society that is in increasing need of affirmation and protection against offense. I am not okay with that, and I am sure to some that paints me as a bad person. However, I see myself as a good person that sees more of the “bad” in myself every day. It is not that I am pessimistic or self-effacing. I am realistic. I see my areas for growth.
In a “well-centered fitness” approach, this is to be expected. Growth approach an asymptote. We never quite reach perfection. Indeed, the closer we come to “perfection”, the farther we perceive ourselves to be.
Self-esteem is defined as “a confidence and satisfaction in oneself” (Merriam-Webster). Self-esteem can be a true or false confidence. Dissatisfaction need not be a lack of satisfaction. One does not lack self-esteem because on sees need to change. Self-esteem is a congruence between reality and Purpose.
I believe my confidence and satisfaction are not in who I am at this moment, but in who I am capable of being—who I am supposed to become. So, naturally, the greater the potential I see in myself, the more “pathetic” I will see my current state. This, in turn, drives me to change—to grow.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!