Winning for Others.

“At the end of our life, we ought to be able to look back over it from our deathbed and know somehow the world is a better place because we lived, we loved, we were other-centered, other-focused.”—Joe Ehrmann

One of the most challenging lessons I have had to teach my son is that of always giving 100% effort to whatever he is doing—be it sports, school, or chores.  Certainly giving one’s all is important for personal success, but it is especially consequential for team success.  I liken it to the parable of the talents.  If one does not bring everything one has to practice or competition he or she is letting down the team, the coaches, and him-/herself.  I want this to be a lesson he learns earlier, rather than later in life.

For any of us, if we don’t do our best at whatever we are doing, we are letting someone down.  I wrote recently about “leave everything in this room”.  This seems to be a recurring theme and worthy of repeat.  If I decide to “phone in” a lecture, go easy on my students in an exam, or neglect in anyway to intellectually challenge my students, I have failed them as a professor.  If a coach allows his or her athletes to “take it easy”, it is to the detriment of the team’s success—on and off the field.

I love the scene in the movie Rudy when Rudy Ruettiger tells an offensive lineman: “If I cool it, I won’t be helping you get ready for the games. You got it?”  Under-sized, but big in heart, Rudy knew that one-hundred percent 100% of the time was essential to his success, as well as the success of the Notre Dame football team.

Early this week, I had to lecture my son on giving his all in wrestling practice.  He was wrestling like a “fish”, and I could see the frustration in the eyes of his training partner as he lay on his belly stalling in the bottom position and when he allowed himself to be taken down with the greatest of ease.  It was hard to deal with my own frustration.  Fortunately, he took it to heart and his practices improved.  His practice improved to the point to where in last night’s practice I saw him intensely working moves, fighting off the bottom, and giving his partner a workout.  His coach acknowledged him at the end of practice for his effort (the transformational coach that he is) and, I trust, this has underscored the lesson.

For me, youth sports are not about winning (though winning is icing on the cake).  Youth sports are about learning the skills to succeed in all facets of life.

As adults, we must understand that we are not working just to better ourselves (or better our circumstances).  We are working to make everyone better—including those who are better that we are.  Success is predicated on teamwork and individual effort.  Our drive is to always be our best—be your best today; be better tomorrow.  When we are the best we can be and expect those around us to be the best they can be, everyone gets better.  Despite some trends in society to the contrary, competition is good.  Competition is healthiest when there is a push/pull for all to “leave everything in this room.”  The sweat and blood that are spilled (both literally and figuratively) in preparation are replaced with fortitude, drive, and determination—with greater skills and a stronger will.  There is always a place at the top for the person who is willing to work the hardest.  As a team, we rise and fall together.  Trust what the great Coach Lombardi said: “The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand.”

Carpe momento!

“No one has ever drowned in sweat.”—Lou Holtz

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