This last week sent me into a tailspin of negativity. It started with a call from my stepmom that my dad had passed unexpectedly in his sleep. Technically, it started with a weekend snowfall—a rather ordinary winter snowfall to anyone not living in the Northwest or South. The loss of my father stung, but the snow—or more so the local response (or the lack thereof)—pissed me off. My grattitude (gratitude + attitude) rapidly diminished as the week went on with school delays and cancellations and unnecessary accumulations of ice and slush (most of the week was rain and near freezing temperatures that would have been a limited problem if municipalities acted quickly to clear roads (and perhaps apply a bit of salt), kids didn’t ride sleds in the street, and if neighbors shoveled their sidewalks. Such weeks are difficult for me, and I still struggle to not let myself get worked up. This week, though, I would have like to have had time to process my dad’s sudden death and to celebrate his life without complications. But, as always, life presents us with opportunities. In this case, I missed an opportunity to demonstrate grace and grattitude.
I won’t ever say I am “wrong” to complain about the decisions that are made in my local area in response to the few snowfalls we get each year. (It happens every year, and, with climate change, conditions will continue to worsen—so, invest in snow removal, please!) I will say, though, that I can respond—to this and a lot of things—with grace, humility, and grattitude. I will say that our police, fire, and first-responders do a fantastic job with the resources and circumstances they are provided. City maintenance is limited be decisions made above them. Teachers and coaches are limited by administrative decisions. Decision makers are limited by the pressures put on them by an ever-the-more litigious community (and the lack of pressure from a community that is okay with the status quo). So, my responses are my responsibility. I need to extend grace toward other and be more other-centered. (Something that I find extremely difficult.
My grattitude is another personal responsibility. I will say that this week was a particularly hard one to find things to be grateful for—especially when trying to have an other-centered mindset and considering how the decisions made this week impacted others (lost instruction time, missed practices and training for athletes, the walks my dogs did not get, lost wages, the immobilization of neighbors because roads and sidewalks were not tended to, etc.). It was a hard week, but my response is on me. I could have been better.
Hopefully, amid a chaotic catch-up week, I will allow myself time to reflect on my father’s life and focus on considering the needs of his wife, my siblings and cousins, the grandkids, and the rest of the family and friends whose lives were impacted by the man. It is my choice. I also need to allow a little grace for myself without making excuses.
We all deserve a little grace and grattitude as we go through whatever it is that we are going through. We are all dealing with something.
Be your best today; be better tomorrow.
Carpe momento!!