In the movie, Courageous, the Kendrick brothers presented a Resolution for fathers as leaders in their household. I was moved by the movie in so many ways. I believe in the commitments detailed in the Resolution and renew them annually with my wife and children. To round out the year, I want to share my thoughts on these commitments.
I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.
7. I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.
I strive to do well for my family financially. I struggle with the sad salary I make as a college professor, and desire more. This resolution, however, is not about providing financially. True, one should provide as best he can for his family. My wife, however, does quite well in her position. The greater needs of my family are not financial. They need my love, support, time, presence, encouragement, wisdom, etc. It is not enough for me to just go to work and bring home a paycheck. I must seek to know what they need and work diligently to provide. I cannot pursue my own Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social well-centeredness and not consider the needs of others in these areas.
8. I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.
Sometimes a simple “I am sorry” is all that someone needs from us. Yet, they are often three of the most difficult words to say (like “I love you”). Letting go of anger and our feeling of being wronged is sometimes easier than reconciling ourselves with others for the wrongs we have done. I admit to being slow to do this. This resolution reminds me not only to say “I am sorry” but to show others “I love you” by changing my behavior. Forgiveness and reconciliation are personal responsibilities. Relationally, we cannot expect progress and change until we accept our responsibility. My focus is, first, on forgiveness and reconciliation–and not wronging others. I have to let go of any desire to be treated the way I want to be treated (not conceding, however, to being abused and mistreated, of course) and concern myself with living “I am third”.