“When you encourage others, you in the process are encouraged because you’re making a commitment and difference in that person’s life. Encouragement really does make a difference.”–Zig Ziglar
Today is one of those days where there is serendipity to my growth activities. I happened upon the above quote and later came across a discussion of “emotional contagion” in Malcolm Gladwell’s book, The Tipping Point. The idea of emotional contagion comes from the thus titled book by Elaine Hatfield, John Cacioppo, and Richard Rapson. The consideration was already in my head about being intentional in projecting the emotions that I want to have, and I have written a couple times on the idea that “one’s attitude shapes one’s attitude.” I have lately been trying to do what is, admittedly, quite difficult for me. That is, I have been trying to put on “positivity.”
The concept of emotional contagion follows that our emotions are directed more outside-in rather than inside-out. In other words, our emotions are externally affected. If someone smiles at us, we will respond subconsciously with a smile. The authors contend that some people are more infectious than other. In a sense, these people are the carriers. These are charismatic people who have the ability to bring the room up or down, depending on their emotional state.
We may or may not be as effective as another in spreading emotions, but we can all make the effort. When we are intentional, we can, at the very least, affect our own emotional state. We have few excuses, then, for being negative. (I say few, because, admittedly, there are circumstances—I have seen friends who where going through some overwhelming stuff—where it might just take every ounce of emotional energy to get out of bed.)
At the start of every day, we make a decision. Think of the expression: “He got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” If you start the day with a miserable attitude, it is likely to effect everyone with whom you come in contact—except that person who has made the intentional decision to be positive and encouraging.
This reminds me of my friend, Charlie, who is by far the most positive person I know. We worked together a number of years ago and would often go out for runs. I would be my negative, complaining self, and voice my frustration with this person and another. Charlie would, invariably, come back with something positive and shine the mirror on my negativity. I hated it! Let me be a grouch! I learned some great lessons from Charlie.
Charlie was a carrier. He was infectiously positive. The good news is that we can be, as well. For people like me, though, it just takes more conscious effort.
So, what do you need emotionally? Project that emotion. You will be amazed of the effect that it will have on others.
If you are temporarily incapable of projecting emotions other than what you are experiencing, expose yourself to the people who are carrying the emotions you desire. Avoid the people who spread negativity. Reach out and invite in the people who will infect you with positive emotions and encouragement.
There is enough negativity, pessimism, and cynicism out there. It is like a cancer on social media and in the press. Avoid it like the plague that it is. Be your own epidemic of encouragement. Spread the joy that you want to have. It may seem a bit inauthentic at first, but, even if you are not the charismatic type, your subtle affect will be epidemic.
Carpe momento!