A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”—Winston Churchill
I have written about the idea that one’s attitude shapes one’s attitude. At all times, we have a choice in how we respond to the circumstances at hand. When we start our day, we determine (for the most part) whether it will be a “good” day or a “bad” day—hence, the saying: “He got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”
As we pursue a growth plan, one vital activity is shaping our mindset for the day. Thus, the purpose of journaling. Our Emotional “well-centeredness” is very much affected by the other dimensions (Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, and Social). This is why I consider it a keystone dimension in well-centered fitness. Our emotional state in most often a matter of choice. Except in the most extreme conditions of mental health, we have a choice of responding in a more positive way or a more negative way to the circumstances and situations that present themselves. Once we set the tone for our emotional state for the day, a sort of inertia takes effect. In other words, we are going to continue in a more positive (or negative) emotional state until acted upon by other “emotional forces”.
When those external forces attempt to disrupt our emotional state, we have an immediate choice. We can perceive these in one of three ways and respond accordingly. We can see these as burdens, challenges, or opportunities.
When we perceive the circumstances that present themselves as burdens, we are likely to respond with resistance, pessimism, fear, doubt, anxiety, worry, anger, etc. When choice these responses, we halt the positive emotional energy and quickly change the direction of our momentum. Unless we retake control, these emotional forces are going to keep building in the negative direction unless acted upon by other more positive external “forces”. Unfortunately, when we allow ourselves to view circumstances as burdens, we are yielding control to forces that are negatively oriented and our overall emotional momentum will be directed this way, and we are increasingly dependent upon others for our emotional well-centeredness (e.g., your children are walking on eggshells for fear of upsetting you).
When we perceive the circumstances that present themselves as challenges, we are certainly trying to continue in a more positive emotional state, but this takes tremendous energy. We are constantly having to control our emotion—to force our happiness. Our emotional well-centeredness becomes a net effect of our internal efforts and the external forces acting on us. Thus, we are dependent on other sources of support. This necessitates surrounding ourselves with “positive” people, altering the mood in our environment (e.g., surrounding ourselves with motivational posters—“Hang in there, baby.”), relying on our mantras and self-affirmations, and the like. These are all good, but they take greater effort, and we are likely to become fatigued.
Our third option is to view our circumstances as opportunities. When we choose this option, we set a positive emotional momentum that becomes increasingly difficult to overcome. As well, we are better able to set the mood in the room, so to speak.
When we see the moment as an opportunity, we see the good that can come out of it and thus seek the good. This approach is dependent upon the Spiritual and Social dimensions (and certainly to an extent the Physical and Intellectual dimensions) and channels back to the other dimensions in the process. We understand that we are not at the center on the universe and that our lives are intertwined. What we experience—hard as it may be—is always for a greater good. In this approach, we see where this might be for the benefit of another, as well as for our own personal growth.
An exercise that I have recently found to be helpful is to consider the opportunities that confront me in the moment where I am. It has had a profound effect on my emotional state. Not that the results are perfect, but the momentum is building in the right direction.
You may not like your job, where you are living, the people you are working with/for, your income, your state of health, etc.; but, you don’t have to be miserable. You (I) have the choice to dwell on how miserable it is making you, to bull your way through it, or to accept that it is what it is and look for the greater purpose in being where you are in this moment. When we elect to consider the opportunities before us, we see the occasion to grow, to have tremendous impact on others, and to use this opportunity to become someone better than we were before.
Today will present a series of moments. How we choose to respond in these moments has a most dramatic effect on subsequent moments. Perhaps circumstances are out of our control, but the direction these occurrences take us is wholly in our control.
Carpe momento!