So, the other day, I see the light on in our bonus room as I go downstairs to workout. I go to turn it off and find my 11-year-old son playing on his PS4. Apparently, he couldn’t sleep. I (try) to limit his time playing video games, so he was informed that he was using his allocation for the day and there would be no PS4 after school. Of course, I came home to him playing. So, we had a little father-son chat.
My stern warnings and removal of privileges hasn’t seemed to be working. So, instead, I took a more well-centered/growth-oriented approach. We talked about goals—long-term and short-term goals, like his wanting to be an astronaut and to play in the NFL, as well as getting good grades in school. Then, I asked the obvious question: “How is playing on the PS4 helping you achieve these goals?” I conceded that recreational playing can help him relax and that some play time is appropriate, but, when it came to these bigger goals, he understood (as well as an 11-year-old can understand) that extended gaming is not going to help him improve in sports or school. I am hopeful that he will shift more of his focus toward other things. Time will tell.
This discussion with my son caused me to consider my own use of time. Two questions come to mind that we should ask ourselves before we do something:
“Is this consistent with my mission?”
“Is this helping me to further my goals?”
If we can answer ‘yes’, then it is likely a better use of our time. I think about things like Facebook. It is easy to get caught up in scrolling our friends’ posts and convince ourselves that we are acting in the Social dimension. Perhaps, we are. The question remains, though, are the actions we are taking really furthering our goals in the Social dimension. Sure, I am “interacting” with my friends, but am I adding value to the interaction or just wasting someone’s time. With increasing frequency, I am questioning some of the time I am spending on social media—in reading posts, watching shared videos, commenting on posts, etc. The more I question the value of the time spent, the more I have to question the value of the content that I share. So, again, I come back to the questions:
“Is this consistent with my mission?”
“Is this helping me to further my goals?”
My mission statement reads:
“My mission is to faithfully honor and love my God, my family, and my neighbors; to pursue growth in all dimensions of my life; and to have a positive impact on the lives of others.”
This coincides with my values: faith, family, friends, growth, health, and impacting others. (I am third.) All that I do, then, should fit this frame.
I frequently mention the idea of “opportunity cost”. There is a cost to everything we do. Whether it is playing Destiny on the PS4 or spending hours scrolling through Facebook—or whatever the time-eating vice may be—one has to consider the value gained and lost in doing what one is doing in the moment. This is where our growth plan comes into play. By journaling, setting goals, and having a mission statement, we set the course for our day. Time is never wasted if it is consistent with our growth plan. (In my son’s defense, he plays his games with his friends—albeit, over the Internet. I give him some slack, because he has few friends in the immediate neighborhood and this is the only way he can interact with some of his friends on a daily basis. I am realizing that it just isn’t the 1970s anymore!)
We need a certain amount of down-time—of leisurely slothdom. We just need to be careful, and make sure that it fuels our growth and does not act to stifle us.
Every moment is a choice. How will we spend it?
Carpe momento!