So, how do you use social media? Personally, I find it roughly equally rewarding and frustrating. It really depends on who posts what. Overall, it has been a great way to connect and keep connected with a diverse group of “friends.”
I find that there are two extremes of social media user. Those who post “warm and fuzzies” and those who are always ranting against something or someone. O.K. Maybe there are a few in-betweens. Still, social media can either feed our souls or it can fuel our cynicism and negativity.
What do you post?
Are you one who shares uplifting quotes and memes? Or are you constantly complaining about politicians, celebrities, sports teams/coaches, etc.?
How you feel after a session of scrolling and commenting should be an indicator of the worth of social media in your life. Do you feel uplifted and encouraged? Or do you feel agitated and/or offended?
There was a time when social media fed by cynical side. It was almost fun to have heated discussions. With many close friends that wasn’t such a great problem. It was “all in fun”, after all. In time, however, I found that my cynicism and poking the hornet’s nest was having a negative affect on some of my friends and me. If I wasn’t careful, it was a vicious cycle of negativity. It was depressing. I needed to change.
At the time, I had a business that was struggling. I was discouraged. I was frustrated. I was really down. Sharing my discouragement didn’t help. Venting was unproductive. So, I changed my approach. Instead of complaining, whining, or otherwise, I decided to take the George Costanza approach (from Seinfeld)—to do the opposite. When I needed encouragement, I decided to be encouraging.
If you were to follow my posts on social media, you would probably be able to pick up on my emotional state based upon my posts. An inspirational quote? I am probably needing a little self-motivation. “Carpe friggin’ diem”? “Be your best today; be better tomorrow”? These are for my benefit. (If fact, this blog is for me.)
This approach has drawn me toward more encouraging people. I have become “friends” with numerous people I have never met because I love their attitude. They feed my soul.
I struggle, now, with negative posts.
We are in a presidential election year in the U.S. The posts can get downright ugly. It is tempting at times to chime in and speak my mind. I am learning, however, to refrain. My tongue gets a little bloody some days. But, I like what Sean Stephenson (the “3 Foot Chef”, www.seanstephenson.com) shared in one of his “One Minute with Sean” videos. He pointed out that our attacks on candidates we don’t like only serve to draw further attention to said candidate. If we really want our candidate to win appeal, we should focus on his/her positive traits. He is right. There is too much divisiveness in politics—in all of social media for that point.
Politics and religion divide us. Sports divide us (though I secretly enjoy the memes poking fun at teams other than my Steelers, Pirates, Penguins,…). Now, some polite discourse on social media is appropriate, but if we really want to add value to others, we should seek to make the majority of our posts uplifting.
I love the benefits of social media. Having lived in numerous states, I have friends all over. As a professor, I can keep in touch with former students as the graduate and become a peer and a friend. Through mutual friends, I have connected with people who add value to my life and I have never even met them. I am closer friends, now, with ol’ high school classmates than I was back in school. It is great!
If you use social media, use it to add “crazy value” (a phrase I have picked up from Coyte Cooper on Facebook—“Make Your Mark”; http://www.coytecooper.com/) to the lives of others. In turn, you will reap positives of your own. Mahatma Gandhi suggested that “you must be the change you wish to see in the world”. If you want to be happy, start by encouraging someone else. Most certainly, there are others who are struggle like you (many probably more so). So, seek first to brighten the world of those around you, and very soon, your world will brighten.
Carpe friggin’ diem!