LESSON 9–When You Fall Down
When things go wrong and they sometimes will;
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high;
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit—
Rest if you must but don’t you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be near when you think it seems afar.
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—
It’s when things go wrong that you mustn’t quit.
–author unknown
When you fall—and you will—pick yourself up. Whether it is falling off you bike or stumbling in your spiritual life, remember, I will be there for you. More importantly, God will be there for you. You have the strength to overcome whatever brings you down. When you fall, get up.
I have a favorite wrestling story I like to tell. I don’t have a lot of stories that don’t end up with me getting pinned, so this is especially good. The match started with the referee’s whistle, and I went immediately to one of my favorite moves—the head and arm, which, when executed properly, can bring your opponent quickly to his back. In this case, the move worked, my opponent “Leroy” was on his back. Unfortunately, I could not seem to get his left shoulder to the mat. As I struggled to pin Leroy, he struggled to survive the first period. We battled in this position for nearly the entire two-minute period. From one side of the mat, my teammates were yelling “Pin him, Jeff. Pin him!” From the other side, I could hear “Get off your back, Leroy!” After repeated encouragement from his teammates to get of his back, I heard Leroy faintly reply to his teammates “I can’t!” Shortly thereafter, Leroy succumbed, and I pinned him. Remember: “Can’t never done nuthin’.” Leroy needed only to hang on a few more seconds and the period would have ended. He would have been down only 5 points with a fresh start in the second period, but he gave up.
You will be down often in life with no apparent escape. Hang in there, this too shall pass. Have faith. Trust in God. Trust in yourself. You are not without talent and gifts. You can and will if you try. Don’t ever listen to the voices that say, “you can’t”. Listen to the words of encouragement that you receive from the ones who love you. Understand forgiveness and grace. Know that “for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity” (Proverbs 26:16, NIV). God will always be there to help you up.
When asked “How do you recover from disaster?”, Eleanor Roosevelt responded “You do it by meeting it and going on. From each you learn something, from each you acquire additional strength and confidence in yourself to meet the next one when it comes” (You Learn by Living, p. 33). Son, you will fail in life. Don’t let your failures shame you. Be ashamed when you lack the fortitude and courage to face your failures and learn from them.
Failure is taboo in our society. Educators claim that we damage children by pointing out their failures. What a load of horse manure! Yes, belittling someone for their disappointments is wrong, but to deny them the opportunity to learn from their mistakes is worse. Men of character do not develop when coddled and shielded from reality. When a teacher grades your paper or exam, there is nothing wrong with him/her using red ink. Do not view the red ink as failure, but as opportunity—an opportunity to learn and to grow. What is education, after all, if not a series of failures followed by successes? Accept the red ink with thankfulness. Demand to be challenged and rise to the occasion! Rise up whenever you fall down!
Sometimes you will fall hard. You will have scrapes and cuts—perhaps even broken bones. These wounds will heal, but if you choose to lay down in defeat where you have fallen, you will never develop character. You will never know victory. You will never know what it is like to have finished the race. You may fall seven times, but, each time, get up. Keep moving forward. I heard it said somewhere that “if you fall flat on your face, at least you are going forward.” Press on toward your goal. No one can keep you down except yourself. Be courageous. Be persistent. Do not fear falling. When you do, get up. Never say “I can’t.” You may cross the finish line bloodied, limping, and in last place, but you crossed—you finished the race. This is most important.
Never be afraid to admit your mistakes. We are all flawed. Admitting to mistakes is the first step in correcting them. Analyze your failures. Set goals for yourself; set forth to accomplish them. Reflect on your performance. What kept you from success? If you succeeded, what contributed to your achievement? Set your goals ever higher. Never rest on your laurels or concede defeat. Press forward to ever more perfect success.
I have failed often. I have seen discouragement. I have often wanted to quit. I have thought myself a loser. I have often thought that I was destined to fail. But I must admit that I am not always right. I have listened to the voices of doubt. They are convincing, but they must be ignored.
I heard a message once in church about the “four enemies of faith”—fear, doubt, anxious care, and human reasoning. These are identified by Christ when he addressed his disciples. Four times he addresses his disciples as “you of little faith”: when they were frightened by a storm (Matthew 8:26), when Peter doubted that he could walk on the water (Matthew 14:31), when he challenged their tendencies to worry about life (Matthew 6:30), and when he cautioned them about the yeast—teachings or reasoning—of the Pharisees and Sadducees (Matthew 16:8). Likewise, these are the enemies of any good in your life. They will hold you back from true success in your relationships and your intellectual and physical pursuits. Fear paralyzes you and prevents you from moving forward. Doubt challenges your “can do” attitude and tells you that you can’t accomplish your goals. Anxious care refers to the day-today concerns of life that distract you and prevent you from challenging yourself and pursuing your dreams. Human reasoning involves your thought processes telling you that, rationally, something is not possible. Human reasoning, however, relies only on experience and the conclusions of the human mind. Your capabilities and the solutions to your problems, however, often lie well beyond your own understanding. Do not let these hold you back. Overcome them and press on.
Do not face discouragement alone. When you feel beaten down and tired, bring your burden to someone who can help. When you have fallen and feel like you can’t get up again, reach out. God will always be there to help you up. I will be there to help you up. Never feel unloved or alone. You have others besides yourself on whom you can rely. Ask for help when you need it. Never be ashamed. Too many people go it alone in life, thinking that they are unloved. This is a horrible shame.
Do not fear challenge and difficulty. You can take the easy path in life, but the view will not be as spectacular. You can observe the mountains from the valley, and the view may be inspiring. Or you can climb the mountain and view the valley from the peak—the scene is likely to be far more breathtaking. Not only will the view from the top be awe inspiring, but the journey to the top will also be filled with its own experiences. The climb may be hard, but never doubt that it is worth it.
Do not fear change in your life. Change will come often and always for the best. Often, your greatest setback will open the door for spectacular change. Often, you will be charging forward in pursuit of a goal only to have everything “fall apart.” Do focus on the presumed failure. Look to the horizon for what God has in store for you. Be patient. Pray often. Your next step will be revealed to you. More times than not, you will find yourself going in a completely unexpected direction. It may seem wrong at the time. You may try to hold with tenacity on to your goal, but should the same opportunity keep presenting itself, do not deny the path that is before you. Over time, you will look back on your life and see that every occurrence—while seemingly unconnected—has led to where you are. If you had not failed or succeeded at precisely the right time, you may not have ended up with the experience and insight to succeed where you are.
Bruce Willis’ character in the movie, The Kid, had to face the boy inside him before he could realize his success. Together, they overcame the emotional demons that kept him from success. They lived their life thinking that they are failures. Once they accepted their faults and the circumstances of their past, the future opened for them. They got everything they had ever dreamed of—the timing just had to be right. Anyone who has ever thought him/herself to be a failure can’t help but tear up a bit when the man sees his future and raises his arms in exclaiming: “I’m not a loser!” You are certainly not a loser.
There is no shame in failing—in falling. Let no one convince you otherwise. Failure can be a curse or a blessing. The choice is yours. I hope, however, that you will welcome failure—not as your fate in life, but as the forger of character and the teacher of wisdom. If you choose to accept failure as a blessing, you will find that failure comes less often (or more accurately, it will be overshadowed by the successes in your life). All the many failures and struggles that I have experienced have brought me to this moment—blessed with a terrific son and a fulfilling life. I wouldn’t change a thing! So, son, when life knocks you down, get up and dust yourself off; smile and press on. Rise up whenever you fall down!
Carpe momento!!
© W. Jeffrey Armstrong