LESSON 8–Remember to Play After Every Storm
We discussed in an earlier lesson that trials will undoubtedly come in life. They are, no doubt, a part of life. The sky will, at times, be dark and storm clouds will loom. Remember, however, that storms pass. The storms of life are not everlasting. Just as God left the rainbow as a sign to Noah, we, too, can trust that the storms will not overwhelm us. The sun will come again.
I have been deeply moved by the poetry of Mattie Stepanek—a boy not without his own storms of life—who, in his all-too-short life, taught me to “always remember to play after every storm.” What an insightful young man!
Don’t let the difficulties you face get the best of you. In an earlier lesson, we talked about trials. Expect them and learn from them. When they pass, remember to play after every storm. The ups in life will outnumber the downs. Joy will overcome the sorrow. The hurt will fade.
Trials in life are as certain as death and taxes. When the pain of life gets the better of you, realize that it will make you stronger, if you choose to learn from its lessons. Life will be hard, but you will get through it. When you do, celebrate. Take pleasure in life, knowing that you can and will overcome. Play after every storm.
I heard a story once about a man who was found hitting himself in the head with a 2×4. When asked “Why?” the man responded, “Because it feels so good when I stop.” I am not suggesting that you start hitting yourself in the head with boards or that you seek trials and difficulties in your life—believe me, they will find you easy enough! No, what I want you to understand is that when difficult times come your way, don’t be overwhelmed. Rather than surrender to a “woe is me” attitude, accept the challenge as a growth opportunity. Examine your circumstances and evaluate yourself. What lesson are you to learn? What weakness is being revealed? What character are you developing? How is this situation helping to lead you to the fulfillment of your Purpose? When you respond this way, you will find your burden lessened and joy will abound.
This may be likened to the athlete training for competition. No athlete steps out into the competitive arena without preparation. Athletes train hard. They sweat. They push themselves to their physical and psychological limits. They hurt, but they know that their bodies will recover and adapt. In exercise science, this is referred to as the “overload principle”—for a body system to adapt, it must be pushed harder than that to which it has become accustomed. So it is in life. To grow, you must extend beyond your comfort zone. You must be overloaded Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally, Socially, and Spiritually to grow as a person.
The physical aspect of growth is easy to see. When you lift weights, for example, your muscles grow and your strength increases. When a marathoner runs for aerobic endurance, her heart and lungs are strengthened—she can deliver more oxygen to her muscles and the muscles are better able to utilize this oxygen—and she can run longer and faster. Any physical challenge to the body forces it to adapt and be better able to adapt to the stresses placed upon it.
To become educated, you must be challenged intellectually. First, you learned to count to ten, then to one-hundred. Soon you could add and subtract numbers. Over time, you mastered complex word problems and will, one day, even master integral calculus. You began with small words and progressively learned to read and process more complicated thoughts and ideas. The human mind requires mental stimulation to expand. We will talk about the value of education in another lesson.
Your emotions will be like a roller coaster throughout life. You’ll have highs, and you’ll have lows. Humans are, after all, emotional creatures. You will experience great joy in life. You will experience great sorrow. At times, your emotions will confuse and bewilder you. This is all part of life. Count it a blessing that you can experience the breadth of human emotion. Imagine what life will be like without any emotion—in some catatonic state. While you might not feel pain, you would also feel no joy. What a horrible life that would be. Realize that your ability to feel is one of the great gifts God has given you. You cannot experience joy without knowing sorrow, and vice versa.
Many relationships will end in heartache. You will give your heart to people only to have it stepped on. You will love and lose. You will know unreciprocated love. But you will one day know and receive unconditional love from someone, and all the pain and heartbreak of lost love will fade, and the accompanying elation will seem even greater for the hurt that came before. In this relationship, you will know what it is to play after every storm. I look forward to the day when you can look into the eyes of your spouse and see a glow that beams from the depths of her soul. It is this gleam in her eyes that will let you know that you are loved. It is the rainbow that follows the storm.
The pain you will feel at the loss of a loved one serves as a reminder of how significant that relationship was in your life. In these moments, grieve, but remember to play after every storm. Don’t dwell on your loss. Focus on what you gained from the time you spent with this individual. Share the memories. Laugh. Help others to do the same. When a loved one dies, we can’t change the past. We can’t bring them back. We can, however, keep them alive in our memories. Think of the joy they brought you—not the pain. If you are unsettled because there was failure in the relationship, look to correct it by making right the relationships that remain in your life.
The hurt you feel in the death of a loved one is pure selfishness. They have gone on to a better place. In the twinkling of an eye, they are with their Creator. You hurt because you are left behind to resolve the past and live on into the future. The past is behind you. No amount of emotional suffering will change this. Your future, however, is a fresh slate. Put on joy and face the opportunities! Play, my son!
Socially, you will face frequent storms. You will make mistakes. You will say and do the wrong things. You will embarrass yourself (and I will embarrass you even more). You will feel at some moments as a social outcast, but know that this, too, shall pass. Learn to laugh at yourself. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
As I sit, now, writing this (and again rewriting this), I am trying to recall significant moments of embarrassment I suffered as a child or young adult. I am struggling to remember any. Why, because I was a flawless child and never experienced humiliation? Hardly. In fact, I am sure that I had what seemed like more than my share of awkward moments. But, in time, they fade as forgotten memories—as they should. Forget about them. Learn to accept your mistakes. Learn to laugh at those mortifying events in your life. Be able to—when someone says, “Hey, remember that time you…?”—laugh and respond by saying, “Oh, yeah. That was funny, wasn’t it?” If the person has malicious intent, your ability to laugh at yourself robs them of the opportunity to humiliate you. Chances are, in hindsight, it was funny.
On this same point, don’t laugh at another’s expense. That is, don’t make fun of other people. I can remember many times being on the bullying end of the teasing. I wonder how I might have scarred my classmates. In many cases, it was going along with the crowd. More often, though, it was the result of the mixed-up emotions and lack of social skills that comes with being a child. It is a shame that many of these classmates will never know that they were teased because I didn’t know how to be their friend. You know how it feels to be on the receiving end. Why cause another such pain? Better to make yourself the butt of your jokes. Remember, that most people may laugh on the outside to mask their pain and embarrassment on the inside. Their laughter should not be taken as support for your cruelty. Respect the feelings of others. Befriend the classmate that others pick on—you will soon learn that they have qualities that others don’t see. Live your life as to hurt no one. When you are hurt, don’t return malice with malice. Remember to play after every storm.
Your spirituality and faith will come into question often—particularly in life’s darkest storms. Trust that you are a part of something far greater than yourself. Trust that there is a Purpose to your existence and that the present storm plays a part in its fulfillment. Trust in your Creator and know that he will never leave you or forsake you. God will complete in you the good work he has started (Philippians 1:6). When you put your confidence in God, you are comforted in the storm and will soon find yourself in a peaceful calm. Remember in your heart David’s psalm:
How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall. But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me (Psalm 13, NIV).
David faced many storms in his life, but always remembered to play after every storm. I encourage you to always do the same.
Consider what follows a storm. Yes, in many storms there is great destruction, but after a storm everything is clean and there is freshness in the air. The world seems at peace. There is a certain calm that follows. What the storm destroys can be rebuilt—often stronger and more beautifully. That which is strong weathers the storm and remains. Thus, we are in the storms of life. Our strength of character is revealed, and our weakness washed away. We are cleansed and refreshed. We enjoy the calm and see the rainbow of promise that traverses the sky. We know that we have survived. As a child, we would run to play in the fresh puddles and mud left behind by the storm. As you mature and become a man, don’t ever forget this, and remember to play after every storm!
Carpe momento!!
© W. Jeffrey Armstrong, 2022