“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.”—Brian Tracy
Very often in life, we are moved into situations that for whatever reasons are not what we expected or less than our ideal. When we enter into such times, we have a choice. We can choose a path of bitterness and resentment, or we can choose a path of growth. The former spirals into an ever-worsening condition that, in turn, poisons other circumstances in our life. The latter leads us to the fulfillment of our Purpose.
When we focus on the opportunities before us, we begin to zero in on the positives of our given situation, and the negatives diminish. If, on the other hand, we emphasize the (perceived) undesirable prospects, we simply grow less and less content, and our opportunity to positively impact others lessens.
I have begun a daily practice of examining the opportunities that are presented to me right where I am. The result has been the cultivation of gratitude and a greater sense of Purpose. Specifically, I am reminded of my own mantra: “I am third”. Thus, I realize, that I am not where I am or in the situations I find myself for me. Rather, I have a growing sense that I am where I am for others.
Eight years ago, this week, I arrived in Oregon with my wife, two children, a dog, and a cat. We left great jobs (one by choice and the other not so). We left a beautiful home in Michigan and moved (temporarily) into a two-bedroom apartment. I started a new job, while Pam was still looking. It was a significant cut in pay and the commute is long. I was also taking a step back in academic rank (moving down from Associate Professor to Assistant Professor). Despite all this, we were certain that this was where we were supposed to be, and, for a while, I remained confident that it was. Over time, however, my optimism waned. Fading optimism gave way to pessimism and cynicism. I began to see every fault and flaw in where I was. This is not what it means to be “well-centered”.
Strengthening my growth habits has helped to turn this around. Still, focusing on my growth plan needed a bit of a push. I renewed my commitment to my values: faith, family, friends, growth, health, and impacting others. It was the desire to impact others that was tripping me up. I had convinced myself that my circumstances had diminished my capacity to be impactful. To the contrary, I was losing my ability to impact others because I had lost my vision.
In short order, the consideration of my opportunities led to gratitude and the recognition that I was having an impact, just maybe not the way I wanted to be impactful. I had been defining my own Purpose and failing miserably.
We have a tendency to think that we make our place in the world. A better realization is that our world makes our place. Where we find ourselves in any given moment shapes us. It not only shapes us, but our circumstances shape the others in our lives.
I am realizing that my children have the opportunity to forge experiences and relationships here that could not be had anywhere else but here and now, and that these will shape them for their unique Purposes. I am not necessarily where I am or in the circumstances I find myself for me, per se. It is quite likely that I am a bystander is someone else’s growth plan.
I am also realizing that my teaching, my writing, my relationship, and everything I touch are inspired by where I am. This realization has been profound. It has opened the gates of gratitude. I shifted my thoughts from what I don’t have to what I do have. Suddenly, what I had come to see as disadvantages has now become an enlightened sense that my role is larger than self.
When we recognize the opportunity that presents itself, we can express gratitude for where we are. Our gratitude drives our negativity and pessimism. The void is then filled to optimism and hopefulness. There is a dramatic shift in attitude. We grow increasingly excited to be in the moment. We are able to… carpe momento!